I am ethnically Chinese. I am Christian. But most of all, I am Indonesian.

The Cathedral (left) and Istiqlal Mosque (right) decorate the skyline of central Jakarta, down the road from each other.

For years, I’ve struggled in finding a way to reconcile these three parts of my identity. I grew up in a Catholic family and went to a private Catholic elementary school, just like many other Chinese families who wanted their children to have a better education than the one provided by the government. Christianity provided the freedom that was stripped away from the Chinese due to legislation. For the younger generation, any sense of identity of being Chinese is faint if non-existent.

To someone outside Indonesia, it may seem inconceivable that a country with more practicing Muslims than any other nation in the Middle East or other countries in the world would have such a passionate group of people devoted to God. But in truth, Indonesia is proud of its tradition of religious freedom, something that is held sacred here. The fact that religion remained unregulated drew more and more Chinese to identify themselves with this group.

“Of the estimated five million ethnic Chinese in Indonesia, well over 70 percent are now Christian. The ebullient and staggeringly rich charismatic churches are thriving by spreading a message of personal confidence and material success that seems to hold special appeal for young Chinese.”
—International Herald Tribune, April 27, 2006

There are census data of Christians and of people with Chinese descent, but oftentimes this kind of data is skewed because some choose not to disclose the information due to fear of reprisals. It is the lingering effect of decades of persection. Therefore, it is even more difficult to accurately determine the fraction of Chinese people who are Christian. Persecution, however, is not the general theme in the lives of Chinese and Christians. Most of the violence seen in news reports are caused by agent provocateurs.

“I keep telling [my parents] it’s not just about Christianity. I’m investing my time for this new generation, so it can be awesome.”
—Joe Sentoso, minister, Jakarta Praise Community Church (JPCC)

For my dad and most of his siblings, being Catholic is a step away from the Buddhist practices of my paternal grandparents. Although we still pay respect to our ancestors through Buddhist customs, we don’t do that in our own household. Several years back, while visiting another city, we visited a Buddhist temple with my grandparents. While there, my mom reminded my siblings and I that we pray to God the Father, not to the boddhisattvas.

Sometimes I think to myself whether I’m part of this new generation of Christians from Southeast Asia. Catholicism is not the same there as it is in the United States. The fundamental difference comes about from the varying experience of the two peoples. Denominations are more distinct in the United States, while they generally are not in Indonesia. I have the teachings of a Catholic, yet my recent experience has been that of what my mom would call an emotional Christian, full of passion for Christ.

I’m in as much an identity crisis as the rest of my generation, torn by the modern world and the traditional practices.